Tony is Giving You Baloney

I got my passport last week.  It’s my first—which tells you how much of an international traveler I’ve been up to this point.  Nevertheless, I feel special somehow (even though nearly any U.S. citizen with $140 to spare and the ability to make an ugly face for the camera can get a passport) and even entitled to write a blog post about travel—or, more accurately, write about somebody else who is an expert on travel.  At least they say he is.

 

I’m referring to Anthony Bourdain, the six foot four, former chef who travels the globe for his travel series on CNN, “Parts Unknown”.  Money magazine interviewed him for a feature in its April issue. 

 

Bourdain demolishes the idea of a normal vacation that you or I entertain.  He advises immersing oneself in a culture, staying and observing rather than trying to take in as many tourist sights as possible.  He offers a host of ideas throughout the interview for improving Americans’ vacation experiences.  And I don’t think I’ll ever use any of them.

 

Take for example Bourdain’s early experiences as an international traveler.  Not knowing the language or the culture, he often found himself in very awkward situations and had to resort to pointing, as when he had to point to what someone else was eating in a restaurant to order his own meal.  Bourdain disdains organized tours, but if you are a retiring sort, maybe a little bashful and not given to pointing at other people, a tour is exactly what you need to make you comfortable in the unfamiliar environment.  Not everyone wants to immerse themselves in the culture.  Just show me the Eiffel Tower, ami.

 

And the places he goes.  Myanmar, Beirut, in the “pristine desert” with Bedouins…I’m not even sure they’re all on the State Department’s “safe to travel” list.  Yet Bourdain talks them up like we should all go there and eat pit-roasted goat.  So we shun the organized tours and head out alone or as a family to these world hotspots (that’s hotspots in a bad sense).

 

Let me point out that Bourdain is not alone when he takes these journeys.  It’s like those nature shows where the host is "by himself", just feet from some ferocious animal and in mortal danger; and apparently the camera operates itself, there’s no director onsite, no film loader, no sound man or boom operator, no native guides, and certainly no safety personnel or men with hunting rifles trained on the wild beast.

 

Similarly, Bourdain has his own filming crew and probably some advance men who scouted out these places and arranged for guides and even a security detail from the host country.  Are you going to take a crew like that with you on vacation to ensure you’re not immersed in something other than culture?

 

But the crown jewel of Bourdain’s advice in the column was how to find a good restaurant.  You won’t believe me unless I quote it verbatim and refer you to the page number (45) in the issue.  “I used to say a dirty bathroom was a sign you should not be eating in a restaurant.  I’ve learned the opposite is true.  Some of the best food experiences I’ve ever had are places where they really don’t [care] about that.  They know their food is good, and that’s enough”.

 

Has this man never heard of hepatitis A?  Has he never seen season five, episode fifteen, of Seinfeld, the famous “Poppie is a little sloppy” episode where the chef uses the restroom and walks out without washing his hands?  Is there a reason Poppie and Bourdain are both former chefs?

 

My point is, do what works for you.  Bourdain may enjoy a certain type of vacation experience, but don’t force yourself into his mold of travel.  Stretch your limits a bit, but not to the point where vacation becomes a dread, even a nightmare.  “Experts” aren’t always right, in personal finance or in travel advice.

 

Until next time,

 

Roger

 

“Without good advice everything goes wrong—it takes careful planning for things to go right.” Proverbs 15:22 CEV