Are you—an Introvert—too?
Soon after I began writing this
blog about five years ago I wrote about the problem of loneliness in retirement
(click here to read “First You Need a Nest”), and how medical experts cited
loneliness as more of a risk factor for early death than even obesity or
smoking.
I have often pondered that
information in light of the fact that I am, yes, an introvert—certifiably
so. For two of my past jobs, I was asked
to take the Myers-Briggs personality test, and both times I was assessed as
decidedly introverted. This came as no
shock to me, though I suspect some of my friends were taken aback; and my
bosses may have been unnerved since I had been hired for very
outward/customer-facing roles. But as
the Myers-Briggs folks will tell you, an introvert is someone who gets his
energy, his renewal, from time in solitude and not from interactions with
others. So an introvert may be very
sociable, a good conversationalist, even thrive in his interactions with
friends, clients, and others. That’s
just not where he most reliably and regularly fills his emotional tank.
As a recent retiree, I wondered
whether I should put more time and energy into relationships, spend more time
with other people as a way to extend my life.
(Sounds a little selfish, doesn’t it?)
Frankly, I’ve not done a very good job of socializing, especially with
the pandemic still raging. I got some
encouragement, however, when I read an
article in Barron’s last week that offered this perspective:
Relax. As long as you’re not a hermit—and you
occasionally mix in some social interaction—you’re not on the road to mental
and physical ruin.
“Loners have gotten a bad
rap,” said Katharine Esty, Ph.D., a retired psychotherapist in Concord,
Mass. “There’s nothing bad about doing
things alone. It only becomes unhealthy
when people become lonely, which is different.”
She describes loneliness as
feeling subjectively unhappy with your relationships or lack thereof. Someone who embraces solitude—and keeps busy
and stimulated by fulfilling activities—can spend most of their time alone but
never experience the distress of loneliness.
What a relief! My hobbies are mostly done in solitude. I enjoy walking alone to clear my head. Nobody is sitting by me as I write my posts. And it only takes one person to read a book. Yet I also greatly enjoy my friendships—crave
them, even. I experience a great deal of
joy interacting with friends, or sometimes just hearing from them. So maybe on the whole I AM balanced and I’m
not going to die young; and I will get to enjoy the retirement I anticipated
for so long; and will get to spend or give away my nest egg as I choose.
Even if I’m an introvert.
How about you?
Until next time,
Roger
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus
got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.” Mark
1:35 NIV*
*Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973,
1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™
Used by permission. All rights
reserved worldwide.
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