Friday, August 18, 2017

Four Funerals and a Wedding


In the span of just eight weeks I have attended four funerals, including two in two days.
 
As I age and approach the euphemistically named Golden Years along with my friends and family, I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise to me if I find myself in mourning more often.  But that explanation doesn’t fit the reality of these four deaths.  Three of the four deaths were unexpected.  Those friends died well before reaching their normal life expectancy.  One was in his forties, and two were not even retired yet.
 
In addition to my shock and grief, I came to learn some sobering realities of the void these deaths left in the surviving families, including the financial burdens they will experience.  There’s lost income with no provision for replacing it.  One of the deceased handled all the finances and left the spouse pretty much clueless of how to function in that role.  The expense of the funeral weighed on the survivors, too.
 
Perhaps it was the sheer number of friends dying in such a short period of time that caused me to examine my own life a little more closely than I have in the past on such occasions. Some of that entails money. Have I made adequate provision for my wife in the event of my death?  She has paid the bills before.  But does she still know which ones are due and when?  The passwords to our online bank and investment accounts?  Is the will up to date?  Correct beneficiaries named and information recorded for all accounts?
 
But above and beyond the financial ramifications of losing a loved one, shouldn’t that also teach us something of life’s fragility?  My wife talked to one of the friends just hours before her death, and in hindsight she is very glad she took the time to do so.  As much as I love to talk and write about money, I pray that I always remember that there are many, many things that money could never buy, including friends and family and time spent with them.  Time will always be more precious than gold.  As I’ve written before, build a life and not just a nest egg.
 
As I consider all this, I rejoice in the happy event of a friend’s wedding this week, a relative of one of the deceased.  So life goes on.  I will pray for this couple’s life together and for decades of happiness ahead for them.  Time.  But I can’t help myself:  In addition to the gift I bought them I’m also giving them a book about marriage and money.
 
Until next time,
 
Roger
 
 
“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” Proverbs 7:2 NIV®*
 
*Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®
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